Posted tagged ‘humor’

Twitter haters and why they hate

October 6, 2009

Earlier this year, Twitter CEO Biz Stone told New York magazine that “[Twitter] is about the triumph of the human spirit.”

I want to believe this. I really do. I enjoy tweeting and reading the random and funny musings of friends (for the most part) and the occasional stranger. I’m convinced that tweeting is the closest thing I will ever experience to “celebrity”-dom. It’s your very own virtual paparazzi where a bunch of eyes (somewhere out there) are tracking your every move and thought. (Or at least I hope so or else we’re all just shouting into a deep, black abyss aren’t we?)

At the same time, I know a majority of the material on Twitter is – to put it kindly – unimpressive. It’s not profound, it’s not meaningful, and I really think it’s the furthest thing from a “triumph of the human spirit.” (And if it is – well, I don’t think I need to say we’re all in a whole lot of trouble.)

But hey, I think it’s fine to dabble in the Twitter-verse for personal entertainment periodically throughout the day. Like the old adage goes, “Everything in moderation.”

Even so, amongst the mainstream who sing Twitter’s praises I’ve discovered a rare breed of hardcore Twitter haters out there. And I’m not talking about people who are frustrated when Twitter’s server goes down for the 26th time because of security fails. Nor are they Tweeters who want to voice a few qualms or complaints with the network. Nor are they people who just don’t get it and see no point in it thus don’t sign up to use it. They don’t fall into any of these groupings because at the end of the day – all of the people above still login to their accounts and keep tweeting.

No, I’m referring to Twitter haters who go beyond just thinking “Twitter sucks.” These haters avoid using the social network. They have thought deep, long and hard about Twitter and have all reached the same existential conclusion: Twitter is leading to humanity’s social downfall.

They loathe the cute little blue bird and everything it stands for.

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Yes, Microsoft fanboys exist.

September 10, 2009

We currently live in a tech age where Microsoft is better known as “Micro$oft”, and Macbook-and-iPhone-toting fans are eager to spread the love around for their darling fruit company. Microsoft is popularly considered to be uncool and evil – the software “man” that everyone wants to stick it to. Any pro-Microsoft dissenting voices are muffled under waves of criticism.

Since the web is brimming with Apple fanboys and fangirls. It makes me wonder about the Microsoft die-hards… do they even exist?

Yes, there have been missteps by Microsoft as I’m sure everyone is well versed in. However, there must still be fans left that are highly devoted to Microsoft’s mission: Creating software that works for anyone who wants to use it. Sometimes it’s important to remember that Microsoft was key in revolutionizing the idea of personal computers and laptops, as well as making strides in the software field. Because of this, Microsoft deserves some kudos.

Here are 5 indicators that Microsoft is appreciated by the company’s fanboys across the web…

1. They campaign to release Windows 7 early: Self-described “BIG Windows fan” Kelly Poe started a movement to collect votes petitioning for Windows 7’s early release. So far 3,003 voters have supported his cause. Check out the site here and show your support.

2. They name their children after Microsoft OS: One of the members of Microsoft’s Most Valuable Professional program (a site where “Microsoft experts [can] use, evangelize, and champion the company’s technologies”), Bill Simser, blogged about how he named his daughter “Vista Avalon Simser”. In addition to being named after Microsoft’s best OS, her middle name derives from the code name for the Windows Presentation Foundation – the graphical subsystem of .Net 3.0. Apparently if Bill, the father of Vista, had a son instead, the boy’s first name would be “Dev” (for developer) and his initials would have been DOS.

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How to unfollow Twitter friends who are boring (and stay friends)

August 21, 2009

twitter mute

Chances are that if you’re among the Tweeple legions, you’ve encountered this problem at one time or another. Every time you visit your Twitter account, you notice this someone’s mundane, put-you-to-sleep tweets have taken over your wall – yet again.

Tweets like:

“The line is sooooo LONG at Ikea.”

“Just got my pupils dilated and I can’t see.”

“Good Morning!”

(And yes, horrifyingly enough, the above are real scenarios I’ve dealt with.)

Now if you aren’t close friends with the boring tweeter, there’s the easy 1-step solution of “unfollowing” them. Done. Never see those tweets again.

Unfortunately, the trouble arises when said boring tweeter is actually a close friend in the offline world. One that’s a keeper. All in all great personality and very good friend material (funny, charismatic, clever)… but for some reason on Twitter none of this comes through and they’re a brick. (A BORING brick at that.) Or they’re simply clueless on how to use Twitter – the right way.

Even more unfortunate is the fact that you KNOW they would be very angry or upset if they noticed you weren’t following them anymore. Even though they won’t say it. What to do?

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Hidden YouTube Features Revealed!

August 18, 2009

… by CH Labs that is.

I couldn’t help but test out the feature where you type the URL extension to skip in the videos. I still felt a twinge of disappointment when it didn’t work. Sigh.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Best of the Best iPhone Apps (Not.)

August 12, 2009

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Ever since the rejection of the Google Voice app for the iPhone, it seems like Apple has risen to a new level of fascist control over what content does or does not gain entry into their smart phone application club.

The Apple app approval process has been strict from the get-go – but now it seems downright impossible for some developers to get a “yes”, even if their apps are worthwhile. This certainly is the case with Google Voice. And it’s no secret now that standing in the way is Apple’s BFF status with AT&T, particularly since one of the reasons Apple cited for rejecting the Google app was based on “duplicate features.” When an app offers users unlimited SMS texting and the associated phone service provider doesn’t, well, we see how that would be a problem. Additionally, Other iPhone apps that have been previously approved are now being rejected if they use Google Voice in any way. (Wow, really?)

Creative developers and users alike are upset that business politics are interfering with mobile tech innovation.  Who can blame them? With so many restrictions, it seems difficult for a truly unique and awesome app to reach the iPhone public if their ideas aren’t 100 percent in line.

Because of Apple’s rising app standards, we looked up what ingenious, cutting-edge, never-seen-before, KICK BUTT apps made it through the cut. Here’s a sample of what came up. We’d like to add our top 3 masterpiece apps we came across. Because really, they’ve just got to be the best of the best. (Or not.)

In addition to “Hold On!” and “iBeer,” there’s:

1. iJiggles-3D-Wobble (99 cents)

Move a target onto your image and watch that area jiggle. Very useful for jello. But apparently that’s not what most people are using it for.

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Net makes smrt pplz

August 11, 2009

Aftermath of the Microsoft-Yahoo partnering…

August 3, 2009

See below.